These are arrangements that we use when we are performing live, they may differ a little from that on the CD. Enjoy 🙂

It’s in alphabetical order:

Daddy’s Tattoo
Eat Slugs
House Elves Are Fun to Kick Around
Illegal Love Potion
It’s Not Half Bad
Let’s Get Hagri Fired
Love Song for Professor Lupin
Myrtle’s Always There
Oh Dumbledore
Prerequisites
Quidditch is My Favorite Sport
Two Classes I Hate
What Kind of Name is Hermione?
Who Are These Boyz?

Daddy’s Tattoo

[CHORUS]
My father has a tattoo
It’s not a normal tattoo
My father has a tattoo
It’s not a normal tattoo
It’s a dark mark

[VERSE 1]
I’m not suppose to tell anyone
Cause it mean, he’s a Deatheater
He doesn’t want anyone to know
Especially blabber-mouths
Like Rita Skeeter!

[CHORUS]

[VERSE 2]
Everyone in Slytherin wants a dark mark
You know it’s all the rage
Someday I’ll have a tattoo also
When I become of age

[CHORUS X 2]

[ENDING]
My father has a tattoo
It’s not a normal tattoo!

Eat Slugs

[VERSE 1]
It was time for Quidditch practice
Slytherin was on the pitch
Then the Weasley raised his wand
Draco forgot about the snitch

[BRIDGE]
The wand was poor
Just like his family
Ron yelled the words
That keep us laughing

[CHORUS]
Eat Slugs, eat slugs
Eat Slugs, eat slugs
Eat Slugs, eat slugs
Eat Slugs, eat slugs

[VERSE 2]
Then the wand did something funny
As the started to flap
Ron’s eyes grew wide and rather frightened
As slugs came pouring out his mouth

[BRIDGE]
[CHOURS x2]

House Elves Are Fun to Kick Around

[CHORUS]
House elves are fun to kick around X 4

[VERSE 1]
Every noble family has their own house elf
They don’t cause a stir they just take care of themselves
Ridiculously obedient
They always stay put
And to get out my frustration I just kick them with my foot, cause

[CHORUS]

[Verse 2]
Their wardrobe is hilarious
It really makes me laugh
When you see it’s tee cozy
You’ll know it’s never had a bath
They make me feel important
Cause whatever I say goes
And the one thing I will never do is ever give them clothes, cause

[CHORUS X 2]

Illegal Love Potion

[VERSE 1]
Yesterday I wore my shortest skirt to Slughorn’s class
He’s easy to manipulate and so I made my pass
Just as I had thought he simply signed his name for me
Allowing me into the restricted part of the library

Madame Pince was doubtful but she had to let us look
We searched for half an hour through the dusty smelly books
Finally we found it in a book called Forced Devotions
A complicated spell for an illegal love potion

[CHORUS]
Romilda Vane was silly
That stuff is childs play
Chocolate cauldrons don’t waste my time
Were gonna do this the dark wizards way
The ingredients will be tricky
But a Parselmouth, has her way
Harry Potter be afraid
Cause you will be ours
Someday
Someday
Someday

Illegal love potion
You’ll never know what hit ya
Illegal love potion
Were not afraid to break the law
Illegal love potion
You’ll never know what hit ya
Illegal love potion
Were not afraid to break the law

Romilda Vane was silly
That stuff is childs play
Chocolate cauldrons don’t waste my time
Were gonna do this the dark wizards way
The ingredients will be tricky
But a Parselmouth, has her way
Harry Potter be afraid
Cause you will be ours
Someday
Someday
Someday

It’s Not Half Bad

Everyone says Slytherin house is the worst place to be
That’s because the dungeons are so cold (The dungeons are so cold)
And because we have to deal with Greasy Sevvie Snape
And because our souls have all been sold
To You-Know-Who!

But there good parts too that you may not have seen
We get to wear green
Are expected to be mean
See the Ickle Firsties scream
When you accidentally bump them in the hallways
Get to goof off in potions just because
Snape would rather yell at Harry Potter (Yell at Harry Potter)
He would always rather yell at Harry Potter (Yell at Harry Potter)
Then ever give detention to someone from his own house

[Repeat all with additional ending]

Thank God for Potter
Got an “A” in potions
Yay Harry Potter
Guess Potters not that bad

Let’s Get Hagrid Fired

[VERSE 1]
A new teacher at Hogwarts
It’s true have you heard
Care of magical creatures
Go ahead and spread the word
Do you know yet who’s teaching
I asked mum and dad
What did they tell you
The game-keeper are they mad?

[CHORUS]
What do you do when you have a stupid teacher
We got just a plan
Let’s get Hagrid fired
Go tell everyone you can

(Parseltongue goes here)

[VERSE 2]
I heard that he’s dangerous
Obsessed with wild beasts
He drinks like a mad man
Especially at the Hogwarts feasts
He’s not intelligent
He wears a hairy suit
I know my father would be upset
If he knew I learned blast-ended skrewts on the first day of class

[CHORUS X 2]

(Parseltongue goes here)

Love Song for Professor Lupin

[INTRO]
*Sigh*
Professor Lupin
Lalalalalalalala
Professor Lupin
Lalalala

[CHORUS]
I, want to tell you about
A little secret
Professor Lupin

I’m sure that Dumbledore
Wouldn’t approve

Now I can see why
They sacked the other Dark Arts teachers
You know it kind of makes sense

[VERSE 1]
First we had Quirrel
But he was out of his mind
Out of his, out of his mind

Next there was Lockhart
I guess he wrote some dumb books
I never, I never read them

[CHORUS]
I, want to tell you about
A little secret
Professor Lupin

I’m sure that Dumbledore
Wouldn’t approve

Now I can see why
They sacked the other Dark Arts teachers
You know it kind of makes sense

[VERSE 2]
I remember Moody
Who wasn’t Moody at all
He was just, he was just Crouch
(Junior!)

Who’d forget Umbridge
That mean old inquisitor
I was so glad when she left

That year was Snape
He wanted that job so bad
Go back to, go back to potions

[CHORUS]
I, want to tell you about
A little secret
Professor Lupin

I’m sure that Dumbledore
Wouldn’t approve

Of a crush I have
On a former, teacher

What can I say
I guess werewolves are kind of cute

Now I can see why
They sacked the other Dark Arts teachers
You know it kind of make sense

Myrtle’s Always There

[CHORUS]
Just want to fix my make-up
Just want to do my hair
But I can’t
And it’s because
Myrtle’s always there

[VERSE 1]
Her clothes are so outdated
Her complexion is not too great
But even though she’s kind of nice
She’s just too much to take

So I avoid the bathroom
That’s on the second floor
Because that’s where you’ll find Myrtle
The dead girl who’s such a bore

[CHORUS]
Just want to go in silence
Without a ghostly stare
But I cant
And it’s because
Myrtle’s always there

[VERSE 2]
Okay so I’ll admit it
Sometimes she’s not so bad
A friend who is transparent
Is a useful friend to have

I really love to gossip
And Myrtle knows it all
When we want the latest updates
We ask her to peek through walls

[CHORUS]
Just want to fix my make-up
Just want to do my hair
But I can’t
And it’s because
Myrtle’s always there

[Repeat Verses 1 & 2 at the same time two singers]

[CHORUS/ENDING]
Everyone else hates Myrtle
But we say “O Contraire”
She does things we wouldn’t dare
So give that ghost a chance that’s fair
Give your thanks and be aware
That Myrtle’s always there

Oh Dumbledore

[VERSE 1]
Oh Dumbledore, he’s gone now
And school will not, be the same
Our school’s turned upside-down now
Cause our Headmaster, has been slain
Oh Dumbledore this is crazy
But I’m sure the Dark Lord is thrilled
I’m feeling a little mixed up
On how your blood has been spilled

[CHORUS]
Oh Snape, dear professor Snape
Who do you really work for
On which side lies your fait?
Oh Snape, dear professor Snape
How did you go through with it
Hope it wasn’t a mistake

[VERSE 2]
Oh Dumbledore, he’s gone now
And life is not, gonna be the same
Our whole wizard world’s upside-down now
Cause a great wizard, has been slain
Oh Dumbledore this is madness
But I’m sure the Dark Lord is thrilled
We dark wizards are so mixed up
Over how your blood has been spilled

Oh Dumbledore, Dumbledore.

Prerequisites

In Gryffindor they drill you on your courage and your might
Before they let you in they want to know if you can fight
And Ravenclaw will quiz you to be sure you got the smarts
If you aren’t brainy they will kick you out before you start
And Hufflepuff won’t mind if you are just an average Joe
They’ll pretty much take anyone with two eyes and a nose
But Slytherin is not that simple, we want something more
If you don’t have this simple skill we’ll show you to the door
Sure wit and cunning are some traits that will help out a bit
But making fun of Weasleys is our real Prerequisite!

[CHORUS X 2]
Oh Weasley it’s so easy
It’s pleasing, teasing the Weasleys

[BRIDGE]
(Sing Lalala under this)
You have red hair
And freckles all over your face
Don’t you care?
That your family is a big disgrace!

[END OF VERSE]
But Slytherin is not that simple, we want something more
If you don’t have this simple skill we’ll show you to the door
Sure wit and cunning are some traits that will help out a bit
But making fun of Weasleys is our real Prerequisite!

[CHORUS X 2 + BRIDGE + CHORUS X 2]

Quidditch is My Favorite Sport

[VERSE 1]
I don’t’ care about baseball
And soccer makes me snore
I find golf to be dreary
And football is a bore

I’d rather go do girl things
Cause I think sports are lame
But I never ever miss a Quidditch game

[CHORUS]
But what the heck is a quaffle
And where on earth is the snitch
And why does this all have to take place
on the freezing pitch
Don’t ask me what the score is
Cause I just do not know
These things are minor details
And it’s just not why I go

[VERSE 2]
I don’t care if it’s raining
I don’t mind if it’s cold
Because boys in Quidditch outfits
Are a sight just to behold

I know that it’s rude to stare
But I just have no shame
So I never ever miss a Quidditch game

[CHORUS X 3]
But what the heck is a quaffle
And where on earth is the snitch
And why does this all have to take place
on the freezing pitch
Don’t ask me what the score is
Cause I just do not know
These things are minor details
And it’s just not why I go

[ENDING]
These thing are minor details and
That’s just how I roll

Two Classes I Hate

[INTRO]
At our Wizard school they require certain classes
Like potions, history and divination too
I guess they’re all important
We go to school for learning
We do have to know how to make a brew

[CHORUS]
But there are two classes
That I just don’t understand why I have to take them
Two classes
It makes no sense to me
Two classes
That bore me to tears and make me wish I could drop out
Two classes
Don’t you agree

[VERSE 1]
Muggle studies is a big ol’ waste of time
I don’t care about non-magic people
They think they’re super clever
Cause they turn on a light
They drive their silly cars
And fly their silly kites
I’m a pureblood witch
And I won’t put up with this

Cause I don’t have time for silly muggle studies
Hogwarts please don’t waste my time
Save that class for stupid prats
Whose blood is already muddied
[CHORUS]

[VERSE 2]
Defense against the dark arts is
Absolutely pointless to me
They teach us jinxes
Prepare us for what’s coming
Dark evils all around
And I just sit there humming
I promise its already, very familiar to me
And I don’t need defense against what I’m being taught at home
I already know this class, so just leave me alone!

[CHORUS]

What Kind of Name is Hermione?

Who’s that girl that’s always first to raise her hand?
(I know who)
Her name’s Hermione and boy she makes me mad
(Uh Me too)
That girl is ugly, frumpy, disgusting
Looks like she hasn’t washed she hair in three whole weeks

[BRIDGE Spoken]
Who names their kid Hermione?
Uh, Muggles
Ew

[CHORUS]
What kind of name is Hermione? (I dunno)
Makes me think of something whiney (Like cats!)
She’s already in Arithmacy (uh huh uh huh)
Yeah I think that’s pretty annoying (uh me too)

[VERSE 2]
Have you heard that her parents are dentists?
(Dentists?)
That means they pick around in dirty Muggles’ teeth
(ew)
But she hangs around that gorgeous Harry Potter
(I love him!)
And that other read head boy
(What’s his name?)

(Random names we think of here)

[CHORUS 2]
What kind of name is Hermione (I dunno)
It’s a made up name I guarantee (Uh huh uh huh)
Always sucking up in history (Ew)
Do you think she stole the answer key? (I bet she did)

[Bridge X 2]
What kind of name is Hermione?
What kind of name is Hermiooonnauh?
What kind of name is Hermininininone?
(what kind of name, what kind of name)
What kind of name is Hermione?

[ENDING]
(spoken) That little witch!

Who Are These Boyz?

[CHORUS]
Who are these boys?
Who will not leave us alone
Who are these Boys? (Who are these boys?)
Wearing nasty cologne
And are all up in my zone
Who are these boys? (Who are these boys?)
Who follow us all around
Who are these boys? (Who are these boys?)
Crabbe and Goyle stop asking us out!

[BRIDGE]
How are we going to get them to leave us alone?
I don’t have a single clue
I have one horrible-disgusting-terrible-nasty-horrific-out-right-wrong idea!
I guess that’s the only thing we can do!

We went on a date with Crabbe and Goyle
Can’t believe we agreed to this
We hope that this will make them leave us alone
Even when we think about it
We get sick

[VERSE 1]
Well Crabbe is such a stupid man
He told me he had a plan
So, I followed him
Hoping it would be fun!
(It was fun was it?!)
(It wasn’t fun at all!)
We broke into the kitchen door
And man that night was such a bore
I watched him eat and eat and eat oh boy it was dumb
He passed right out at half past two
I magicked him back to his room
I swear I’ll never do it again!

Your turn….

[VERSE 2]
Well Goyle, he was pretty bad
He said our date would be so rad
But we never even left the common room
(You didn’t leave the -)
(NO we didn’t leave the common room)
(Well what did you do?)
Well he beat some poor kid up for me
Then he flexed ‘til half past three
Before it even started the whole date was pretty doomed
He even tried to hold me hand
But then I told him he was banned
I swear I’ll never do it again!

[CHORUS]

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We are the Parselmouths! We write songs about Harry Potter from a Slytherin point of view. We hope you enjoy the world of wizard rock.

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Disclaimer

The Parselmouths do not have permission from from J.K. Rowling or Warner Bros, nor have they been approved or liscensed. They do not claim to own the right to the word "Parselmouth", or any other aspect of Harry Potter.

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